about this blog

Others want it hard, others semi-hard. A few have it poached from them. The rest wants the freakin’ cacophony of an omelette. As for me, I want it sunny side up – life, that is.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Ang Mga Lalaki sa Buhay ni Nox

Kahapon, habang pauwi ako galing work, bigla ako napaisip kung bakit laging short-lived ang mga relasyon ko. Ako ba talaga ang may problema? Ganito lang ba talaga pag PLU ka? Mali ba ang expectations namin sa isat-isa? Isa pa ba akong Nene para makipag-relasyon? In short, tinalo ko pa sa Socrates sa dami ng mga tanong ko.

At dahil dito, gumawa ako ng listahan ng mga *lalaking nagkaroon ng puwang sa aking puso (shet!). Hindi kasama ang mga flings, textmates, at one night stand – yung mga naging dahilan lang kung ano na ako ngayon. Kung ano na nga ba ako ngayon ay isang topic altogether.

So without further ado, eto sila:

Pangalan: R a.k.a Morrigan Aensland
Edad : 30 something
Tirahan: : somewhere in Malate
Commonalities : mahilig kami sa anime, arcade, at video games
Terms of Endearment: Wala

Story:
Nakilala ko si R sa Facebook. I know, kaderder lang. Pero kasi naman, nene pa ko nun. Malay ko bang jologs pala umaura sa Friendster. Pero in fairness to me, wala akong account sa PR, G4M, Grindr, at kung anek anek pa.

Sya ang unang date ko. At in fairness to me, Glorieta/Greenbelt nya ko nilibre. Bilang estudyante na nag-aaral sa Maynila at the tender age of 18 (at take note na tubong Cavite akey), gandang-ganda ako sa Makati. Kulang na lang halikan ko ang mga floor tiles ng Greenbelt.

At sa unang date namin, kung anu-anong binigay nya. Mga laruan. B-Daman figures, Dragon Ball collectible cards, puzzle toys, etc. etc. Dun kami nagkasundo. Isip bata kami. Plus, favorite character nya si Morrigan Aensland – one of my favorite characters ever

Hindi naging issue sa min ang edad nya dahil mukha lang kami magka-klase nung college.

Bakit Naghiwalay:
After a few times ng pagde-date, medyo nauta ako sa boses nya. Boses matandang babae kasi sya. Hindi ako naa-arouse kapag kausap ko sya sa cellphone. Hindi na lang ako nagparamdam.

Huling Balita:
Ang alam ko jowa pa rin nya yung Chinoy na ipinalit nya sa kin. Sabi nya pa nung huling nagkita kami, sobrang wapak daw ng nota ng jowa nya. Pinkish.

Song that first comes to mind:
Wala


Pangalan : D a.ka. Santino
Edad : 24
Tirahan: : Cavite
Commonalities : pareho kaming achiever sa school, at pareho kaming talande
Terms of Endearment: Wala dati. Pero ngayon Bes na

Story:
Nakilala ko sya through his friend na nanliligaw sa kin. Yes, may nanliligaw sa lola nyo kahit hindi sya kagandahan nung nene pa sya. Siguro kasi nadala ng aking wit and bubbly personality. Me ganun?! Anyway, hindi ko type ang friend nya at sya ang type ko pero it took us 2 years bago naging intimate ang relasyon namin. Hindi ko na maalala kung bakit. Basta biglaan na lang na tatawag sya sa telephone. Syempre hindi sanay sa bahay may tatawag sa kin araw-araw na lalaki kaya mejo ilang ako.

Bakit Naghiwalay:
Na-realize nya siguro na pangit ako (dati…hahaha!) at hindi nya ako maipakilala sa mga friends nya. Actually, there was a time na nasabi nyang nagustuhan nya ako dahil “hindi ako masyadong gwapo.” Naisip ko tuloy ngayon, what the fuck ah. Natiis ko yun dati? Besides, up to now, closeta pa rin si gaga sa mga close friends nya. Religious din sya kaya siguro nakokonsensya sya ng slight.

Huling Balita:
Friends kami ngayon. Actually, Bes ang tawagan namin. Minsan nga nagma-Malate pa kami with other friends.

Song that first comes to mind:
Boom-tarat-tarat. Lagi kasi Wowowee ang palabas sa TV kapag tumatawag sya sa bahay.


Pangalan : M a.k.a. Emo Boy
Edad : 27
Tirahan: : Bulacan
Commonalities : Wala. Common friend lang
Terms of Endearment: Hon

Story:
Ipinakilala si M ng aking friendship nung high school. Pinakita nya yung pic ni M sa cp nya tapos na lust at first sight akey. Sobrang macho kasi ng dating ng lolo nyo. Tapos balbas sarado. Tapos skinhead pa dati. Kaya add ko agad sya sa Friendster (korek, uso pa Friendster nun).

Sobrang bait nito ni M kaya sya talaga ang first love ko. Tumagal kami ng 6 months, so far ang pinakamatagal ko. From Accenture Pioneer, pumupunta sya ng SM Makati para makipagkita. Tapos pupunta kami Greenbelt to have dinner or coffee. Ganung drama.

Bakit Naghiwalay:
Obviously, North to South ang drama namin ni Emo Boy pero we always find time na magkita once a week. Pero nung naging issue sa min ang time na nagsasama kami ng bestfriend ko na girl every weekend, mejo unti-unti nawala feelings ko sa kanya. Opo, patawad na po, mababaw na dahilan yun. Nene pa po ako eh. Isa pa yung pagiging emo nya at times. Nakakahawa kasi.

On the day of our sixth monthsary, nakipaghiwalay sya sa kin. Hindi ko naman sya pinigilan. A few months after naming maghiwalay, akala pala ni M pipigilan ko ang break up. Kaso at that time kasi nasasakal na ko. Pero when I look back and reminisce, sya talaga ang pinaka-wapak sa mga naging lalaki sa buhay ko. Tanga lang talaga ako.

Huling Balita:
May jowa na sya ngayon pero alam ko bitter pa din sya sa kin. Mahirap lang talaga kalimutan ang lola nyo. Hahahahaha! Pero seriously, gusto ko mag-move on na sya at maging happy na. A person as good as him deserves nothing less.

Song that first comes to mind:
You and I Both – Jason Mraz


Pangalan : Y a.k.a Boy Hapon
Edad : 19
Tirahan: : Cavite
Commonalities : taste in music, love for family
Terms of Endearment : Mahal

Story:
Nakilala ko naman sya sa FB (hindi na talaga ako nadala, pramis). Nakita ko kasi primary pic nya. Sabi ko, yum yum. Hahahaha! Tapos may skinhead pic pa sya. Ok, may fetish pala ako sa mga semi-kalbo. Ok, fine.

After kasi ni M, nagsimula na ako magpaganda ng sarili. In short, nagdalaga na si Maximo Oliveros. Natuto na ako manamit at marunong na rin makipag-usap sa mga bagong kakilala. Kay Y ko unang napagtibay ang oral skills ko. Hahaha!

Dakota Harrison ang lolo nyo. Akala ko dati wala ng tatalo pa sa kin (salamat kay ama dahil sa genes nya) pero wala ako ma-say kay Y. Minsan nga natatakot na lang ako pag may flag ceremony na. But wait, there’s more. Magaling sya sumerbisyo. Naging active ang sex life ko dahil sa kanya.

Pero hindi lang naman sex object ang tingin ko sa kanya. Nahulog ang loob ko sa kanya dahil sobrang maalaga sya. Minsan nga pakiramdam ko husband and wife kami. Ako ang tatay, sya ang nanay. Tapos legal kami sa bahay nila (syempre sa min hindi).

Bakit Naghiwalay:
Nagsimula syang manlamig nung ipakilala ko sya sa mga kaibigan ko. Hindi ko alam pero baka nagkaroon sya ng insecurities kasi hindi sya tapos ng high school (yes, pwede akong maireklamo sa Bantay Bata ng mga panahong yun). Hanggang sa tuluyan na kaming maghiwalay dahil nangengealam ang ex nya sa relasyon namin.

Grabe ang pagka-inlababo ko sa gagong to. Ilang buwan ko din syang iniyakan. Na-adik ako sa paglalasing sa Malate para makalimutan sya.

Huling Balita:
It took me 3 months to totally get over him. Pero ngayon hindi ko na talaga maintindihan kung bakit nagustuhan ko sya – aside sa malaki ang nota nya. Nakita ko sa FB ang current jowa nya. Jejemon. Jejemon sila pareho. Promise, wala ng bitterness.

Song that first comes to mind:
Hey, Soul Sister - Train


Pangalan : Nix a.k.a Huggabug
Edad : 26
Tirahan: : QC
Commonalities : pareho kaming Isko
Terms of Endearment: Boss

Story:
At dahil naaliw ako masyado sa Malate, aminado ako na naging kaladkarin ako. Kung sino-sino ang nakilala ko every weekend. Nakalimutan ko nga pangalan nila eh. Sa totoo lang, may mga pangalan sa phonebook ko na hindi ko na maalala kung sino talaga.

Hanggang makilala ko si Nix nung Black Party sa Malate. Hindi ko talaga sya type nung una. Kire kire lang talaga ako nun. Pero dahil pareho kami Isko, mas marami kami napag-usapan. Plus, sobrang sweet ng lolo nyo. Hinatid nya ako sa sakayan ng bus that night (este, morning na pala) nung pauwi na ako. The rest, nandito naman eh.

Bakit Naghiwalay:
Dahil dito. Tsaka dahil madalang kami magkita. Ngayon, na-realize ko na importante pala ang madalas na sex pagkikita sa kin. O diba, may silbi pala tong blog post na to.

Huling Balita:
Andito din. Pero I have not been entirely honest, or at least hindi ko nakwento lahat. Please see next lulurki below.

Song that first comes to mind:
Marry You – Bruno Mars


Pangalan : C a.k.a Ciao, Marco, Ciao!
Edad : 26
Tirahan: : QC
Commonalities : achiever, opinionated, makuda
Terms of Endearment : Ateng, Teh

Story:
Habang kami pa ni Nix (or something to that effect – hindi kasi klaro kung kami talaga) nung early December, nakilala ko si C sa isang bar sa may Manila Ocean Park. Isa syang med student. O diba, sino ang aayaw sa isang magiging doctor isang araw? In short, nasilaw ako. At na-arouse ng bongga. Wapak kasi ang lolo nyo. Nakakahiya nga sa abs nya eh. On that same night, nagka-chikinini ako. At malamang may impact ito kung bakit ako hiniwalayan ni Nix. Kwento ko na lang next time. Masyado na mahaba to.

Bakit Naghiwalay:
Hindi naging kami at hindi ever. Masyado kumplikado ang buhay nitong si C. Ayoko na dumagdag pa. Simula pa lang klaro na sa min na friends lang kami.

Huling Balita:
Wala naman. Same old, same old.

Song that first comes to mind:
Wala


*In case lang na hindi klaro, bading silang lahat. Hindi po ako pumapatol sa straight, thank you very much.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

It’s been more than a week since Nix and I had last seen each other. I dropped by his office after work last Tuesday night to give him a cup of hot chocolate from the ever-so-convenient 7/11 store along Makati Avenue. I was still wearing my stupid office uniform and didn’t bother to change. I sometimes bring clothes with me especially if I’m going to see him but that particular day at the office was particularly tiring and I just planned to go visit and be home afterwards.

A day after this, I felt really awkward from how he’s been a little bit too quiet. Actually, after getting his darned iPhone back from Globe (he had it fixed for a few days), he’s not been himself. I usually wake up and check my phone first thing in the morning for his text message that says he went home safely. He’s not that anymore. Then, Thursday came too soon and his complete disregard for my texts and calls gave me hints that this will be the day I’ve always dreaded to happen.

ME:    Is there something you want to tell me?

I didn’t receive an instant reply I had to wait for 5 hours and had to endure 2 ignored calls before he texted back.

NIX:   Let’s talk soon. Now is not a good time for me..

My face went numb for a bit. I didn’t expect him to treat me this way. He has always been sweet and understanding. It’s not in his nature to give me a cold shoulder. I drew up whatever courage that still remains from me and texted back.

ME:   Hope to help, pero cge.

Yep, I played the role of the dumb partner. But I knew from my broken heart that I won’t text back again. Or call. Or visit. Or listen to Marry You without feeling a bitter pang in my chest.



I’ve seen this scene before, five months ago to be exact. I was also at the bitter end of a breakup with someone else. Five months after, I know now the roles Nix and I play. I know the lines too well that I’d rather not hear it from him. I’d spare myself from more agony.

I know my forever could wait.

***

PS
I checked his profile page last night. Nagpalit na sya ng relationship status. For the four months we've known each other, parehong single ang status namin.  Ngayon, he's "in a relationship" na.

I nearly died habang pasakay ako ng van sa parking ng SM Makati. Bigla ko nakalimutan pano huminga. I grabbed my phone and composed a message.

ME:     I guess there's nothing to talk about anymore. I waited for a week for you to have time for me so we can talk. But it's okay. I'm glad you're happy now. You deserve to be happy.

I contemplated if I should send it or not for at least thirty minutes because I know that when he reads it, it will seal the doom of whatever we still have for each other.

But I still did. That's me, Master Masochist.


Photo from here.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Inspiration along J. Luna Street



Today, I took a step further to appease my hard-to-please group head by going to Divisoria. By the end of this quarter, we’ll be having our sports programs for employees and we’ll be needing a supplier for the uniforms. So off I went to the land of wholesales and bargains – and not to mention cute Chinese and Korean shop owners – to scout for possible suppliers.

Before going to 168 mall, I have to stop by our Tutuban branch to meet an Area Operations Manager (AOM) who will assist me that day. Knowing fully well that I am not good with geography, said  AOM will be my guide to find the cheapest shirt suppliers possible.

After meeting the branch personnel and the AOM, we exchanged a few words inside the branch.

“Sir pwede kayong ka-partner ni [insert name of our female celebrity endorser] sa pelikula. Mukha kayong artista,” said the branch personnel.

“Ah, hindi naman po siguro.” Pa-tweetums pa ang pohta, sabay whip ng mahabang hair sideways.

Damn right, I said to myself. I never thought of ever going to Divisoria for my work. I am meant to be in an office with a controlled thermostat.

But since I am here, I’m going to scout for a possible Valentines gift for Nix. I know, Valentines is a marketing ploy, but I think it’s sweet to give him something for Valentines. Yihee!

The day could have gone well had it not been terribly, unbearably hot. If I were in the beach, well that could have been good. But hello, I’m in Divisoria. I swear my arms were fried to a toast. Even the inch-thick layer of sun block I used an hour earlier won’t help me with this glaring heat.

And I have to teach those tinderas a thing or two about customer service. Aba eh, parang sila pa ang customer. They all have a signature air of contempt for people inquiring about their wares. One conversation I had with a shopkeeper had me almost pulling her hair.

Nox                              : Ate, magkano isa nito? Referring to a cute backpack.
Bruhildang Tindera     : Wholesale yan.

Ah, okay, I get it Some stuff should be bought by wholesale.

Nox                              : Ah, okay. Ilang piraso kapag wholesale?

Bruhildang Tindera just looked at me like I said something stupid and didn’t answer my question. There were a few awkward seconds and I thought maybe she didn’t hear me because of her sunog-dahil-sa-rebond hair covering her piggy ears. Lady AOM said wholesale meant one dozen.

Is it my fault that it’s my first time to shop alone in Divisoria and not know what wholesale means? Am I not worth to be explained what freaking wholesale means? Fortunately for her, I’m too tired to have a word with the owner of the store. There’s always a next time for revenge. I swear, bitch will die soon.

But that is not the point of this entry. The conversation I had with the lady AOM is worth sharing.

After, getting enough quotations, we headed to have a late lunch. We exchanged a shallow talk about company programs and how long she has been working with the company. Turns out, she’s been with the company for 23 freaking years.

The shallow talk became personal and thought-provoking. She said that it was not her dream when she was young to work in a private organization. She wanted to become a government teacher, and she was for some time. Knowing that she is the first-born and that she will be able to help her siblings better if she’ll have a higher pay, she transferred to our company. And she stayed with the company for 23 years and counting.

Her story made me think about my plans in the future. I don’t want to work for someone forever. I want to have a business for mom and dad. They’re getting older everyday and I know they won’t live forever. I want to give them the best in the world, something they deserve, but I can’t do that with my pay. I just got promoted but still, it ain’t enough.

I love them very much that they’re one of the reasons why I work my ass off everyday freaking day. They have given up so much for me and for my siblings. For sure, they had grand plans in life when they were my age. But I guess they weren’t able to get what they want because they raised us.

Hay, emo.

Well, I am convinced I should put up a business venture in two years time. Problem is, I don’t know what business I should do.

Any ideas? :)



Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Nabuhay ng marangya sa bala, namatay ng madrama sa bala

Former Armed Forces Chief and Lahat-na-yata-ng-Departments Secretary Angelo Reyes killed himself today by shooting a bullet through his chest before his mother’s grave at Loyola Memorial Park.

It's true. Heidi Mendoza has been telling the truth, as well as thousands of our innocent soldiers who have tried their best to warn us about this misuse of public funds.

Sana sumunod na ang mga dapat sumunod.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

[214] Chapter 1: Say it Again


Below is a short story I wrote years and years ago. It's a gay high school boy fantasy.


Hindi ko sya tinapos dati kasi busy na ko nung college. Medyo marami ako binago. Sobrang chaka pala ko magsulat dati but not that magaling na ko ngayon.

Feedback will be appreciated :) 

*********


214
Chapter 1: Say it Again



“Shootangina, ang aga ko today.”

Ako pa nga lang ata ang tao sa school ngayon maliban sa mga empleyado dito. Tapos na ko maglagay ng gamit sa locker kaya dumiretso na ko sa harap ng D Building. Para tuloy akong tuod na naghihintay sa harap ng flag pole para sa flag ceremony.

Paisa-isa na nagdadatingan ang mga estudyante. Nagumpisa na din ang mga kumpiskahan ng mga ID para sa mga matitigas ang ulo. Di nagtagal, dumating na si Jenny, ang nanay-nanayan ko sa school.

"Hoy, anung merun at maaga ka?"

Isang babaeng may tangkad na 5''7 at may bahagyang katabaan, otherwise called as chubby, ang lumapit sa akin at yinapos ako. For a few seconds, nakalimutan ko na dapat nga pala huminga ang mga human beings.

"Hindi ako makatulog kagabi. Nanood ako ng Baker King. Wala pa kong tulog."

Partly true.

"Ah, ganun ba?", sabi nya na para bang nalito sa baluktot kong pagdadahilan. "Pa-hug na nga lang ulit. Ang cute, cute, cute mo talaga!"

"Jen, adik lang? Jen? Aray. Jen masakit na. Jen! ARAY!"

Napatingin sa kin lahat ng nasa harap ng flagpole. Ang mga bibig na dating aligaga sa pakikipaghontahan ay nakanganga ngayon. Tila ba gusto nilang sabunutan ang early morning eksenadora.

Muli na namang nag-usap ang mga bibig na nabanggit at tila pinagtatalunan if it's worth it na sabunutan ang nakitang eksenadora.

Pero may isang pares ng mata na patuloy sa pagtitig sa kin. Pares ng matang bihag ng bilugang salamin. Mga matang ilang araw ko na iniiwasan.

Sa iba ako bumaling ng tingin. Wala ako sa kondisyon para mag-isip. Ayoko na. Sawa na ko. Pasalamat na lamang sa mga diwata ng batis at kagubatan dahil nag-ring na ang bell, hudyat ng pagsisimula ng flag ceremony.

Naging blangko ang isip ko sa kabila ng malakas at nakakairitang sound sytem. Ayoko na mag-sip. Nakukulele na ang isip ko.

Hindi nagtagal ang seremonyas at pinayagan ang mga estudyante na umakyat sa kanilang mga room. Wala sa isip ko ang magmadali. Ayaw ko na makakakuha ng hindi kinakailangang atensyon.

"Robert," sabi ni Jen sabay kalabit sa kin. "Sorry kanina ha. Hindi ko lang napigilan." Pagkatapos sabihin yun ay akma namang kukurutin nya ko sa pisngi. Nakaiwas naman ako, thank you very much.

"Okay lang Jen, no harm done. Una ka na sa taas. May hihintayin lang ako."

"Sino?"

Wala akong maisip na pangalan. Isang tao lang ang dumapo sa wisyo ko. "Si Kuya Jake, manghihiram ako calculator."

"Ah, okay. See yah later!"

Umalis na nga si Jen at iniwan ako malapt sa may Guidance Center. Hindi ko gustong magsinungaling sa kanya pero ikaluluwag ng dibdib ko to have some time alone. Kailangan kong huminga ng malalim. At magpigil.

Magpigil ng nararamdaman.  

"Tama!"

"Ang alin?"

Say it again for me

Cause I love the way it feels when you are
Tellin' me that I'm
The only one who blows your mind

Say it again for me
It's like the whole world stops to listen
When you tell me you're in love

Say it again






"Say it again."

"I love you."

Biglang tumigil ang tugtog sa isip ko. Kelangan tumigil na ko sa pagbili ng pirated CDs. Tumatalon kahit soundtrack sa guniguni ko.

"Rob, okay ka lang ba?"

Lumalabo na ata ang paningin ko. Parang may nagsasalita sa harap ko. Tiningnan ko sya ng mabuti ngunit hindi ko kinakailangang mag-isip ng matagal para makilala sya. Sa totoo lang kilala ko sya.

Ng mabuti.

Sya ang ang nagmamay-ari ng pares ng mata na nakatitig sa kin kanina.

"O-ok lang a-ako..." Kumakabog ang dibdib ko. Kung sa nerbyos o kilig ay hindi ko na alam at wala na rin akong pakialam.

"Iniiwasan mo ba ko?"

"Huh? Pano mo naman nasabi? Di ba sabi ko wala lang sa 'kin yun?"

"Sige, sige. Buti naman. O, ID mo. Nahulog ata."

"Ay, salama-"

"Thank me later. See you."

Hinawi nya patalikod ang kanyang buhok at walang patumanggang kumindat sa akin. Umakyat na sya ng D Building at iniwan akong tulala.




itutuloy...

Friday, February 4, 2011

Love and Math



May nabasa akong trivia na nagpa-tumbing sa kin:

According to a mathematical hypothesis, we should date at least 12 people before picking a lifetime partner. That gives the most excellent opportunity that you'll ultimately make a love match.

Bigla aketch napabilang. Naka-ilan na nga ba aketch?

Isa, tatlo, lima, siyam, dose? I lost count. Kung isasama ko pa lang ang nakilala ko sa Malate, baka naka-quota na ko.

Does that mean pwede na ko mag-asawa?

Pagod na ko magpalipat-lipat.

Nung una masaya. Feeling mo Rapunzel ka at super sing pa ng "Flow, gleam, and glow. Let the power shine. Make the clock reverse. Bring back what once was mine, what once was mine."

Pero habang kung sino-sino ang nakikilala, nauubos ang emotional investment ko. Lugi na ang business ketch.

Sana sya na nga.

Magpapakabait talaga ako para sa kanya :)

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

If you love someone...

[ Share ko lang. Wapak kasi  :)) ]



THE ORIGINAL QUOTE

If you love someone,
Set her free.
If she comes back, she's yours.
If she doesn't, she never was.

NEW VERSIONS

Pessimist:
If you love someone,
Set her free.
If she ever comes back, she's yours,
If she doesn't, as expected, she never was

Optimist:
If you love someone,
Set her free.
Don't worry, she will come back.

Suspicious:
If you love someone,
Set her free.
If she ever comes back, ask her why.

Impatient:
If you love someone,
Set her free.
If she doesn't come back within some time, forget her.

Patient:
If you love someone,
Set her free.
If she doesn't come back,
Continue to wait until she comes back...

Playful:
If you love someone,
Set her free.
If she comes back, and if you love her still,
Set her free again, repeat....

C++ Programmer:
if(you-love(m_she))
m_she.free()
if(m_she == NULL)
m_she = new CShe;

Animal Rights Activist:
If you love someone,
Set her free.
In fact, all living creatures deserve to be free!!

Lawyers:
If you love someone,
Set her free.
Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the Second
Amendment of the Matrimonial Freedom

Biologist:
If you love someone,
Set her free.
She'll evolve.

Statisticians:
If you love someone,
Set her free.
If she loves you, the probability of her coming back is high
If she doesn't, your relation was improbable anyway.

Arnold Schwarzenegger's fans:
If you love someone,
Set her free.
SHE'LL BE BACK!

Over possessive person:
If you love someone,
Don’t set her free.

MBA:
If you love someone, set her free instantaneously.
And look for others simultaneously.

Psychologist:
If you love someone,
Set her free.
If she comes back her super ego is dominant.
If she doesn't come back her id is supreme.
If she doesn't go, she must be crazy.

Somnambulist:
If you love someone,
Set her free.
If she comes back it's a nightmare.
If she doesn't, you must be dreaming.

ERP functional expert:
If you love someone,
Set her free.
If she comes back, map her into your system.
If she doesn't, carry out a gap-fit analysis.

Finance expert:
If you love someone,
Set her free.
If she comes back, its time to look for fresh loans.
If she doesn't, write her off as an asset gone bad.

Marketing Specialist:
If you love someone,
Set her free.
If she comes back, she has brand loyalty.
If she doesn't, reposition the brand in new market.