Bathroom Session No. 4 - Lead Me Lord

Death in the family is a concept I have never welcomed in my thoughts. For the past years of my life, I believed the lie that we are shielded against the world's great sorrows. True, we get major setbacks sometimes, but we always get by. At the end of the day, we always have each other.

The sudden death of a close cousin taught me to take care of myself - not just for self-centered,  aesthetic reasons, but for the people I love.

Kuya, may you rest in peace.




LEAD ME LORD
Gary Valenciano

Lead me Lord
Lead me by the hand and help me face the rising sun
Comfort me through all the pain that life may bring
There’s no other hope that I can lean upon
Lead me Lord
Lead me all my life

Walk by me
Walk by me across the lonely roads that I may face
Take my arms and let your hand show me the way
Show the way to live inside your heart
All my days, all my life

You are my light
You’re the lamp upon my feet
All the time my Lord I need You there
You are my light
I cannot live alone
Let me stay by Your guiding love
All through my life
Lead me Lord

Family is above all friendships we create

I have a profound affection for my friends, most of the times treating them as kin. I am almost always there to lend a hand to a friend. Be it with assistance in financial matters when I have something spared, counsel for troubled times, free professional help when I'm not too busy with work, or companionship for the littlest concerns, I am sure to be there. Therefore, it is not a bit of a stretch when I say that I am a fairly good ally.

And my friends have been generally the same for me. I could even say I am lucky to have been blessed with friends who stick with me even at my worst. I know in my heart that these friends, though only a handful, are God’s gifts who have helped me become the person I am today.

Last Thursday was a shock for me when a “friend” ignored all rules of treating someone you care about, much less of civil manners.

A relative said that someone posted an offensive comment on the wall of a late cousin (which I will write about on a later post). And the person who half-wittingly made that comment was from *jan-ja-ra-ra-ran* a “friend.” Actually, that person was C, some guy I met in Liquid bar last November. He was a friend of a friend of a friend of my BFF.  Normally, I treat such people as acquaintances – not friends – but my Christmas Pay-it-forward charity act made me intimate to this person.

Early December, C had to rebrand his small pharmacy in his hometown because he wants to expand his business. With me knowing that I can help, and having a graphic artist friend who can do his new logo and other collaterals, I did not think twice to lend a hand. And since a “friend” asked for my help, I did not charge him my professional fee. He only paid for the graphic art matters of the rebranding process. During this time, we became really close. We could have even been an item had I not rekindled my affair with Nix.

Going back to the Thursday incident, I called up C to have him remove his post in FB. His comment has already caused a stir in the beehive. My relatives and my late cousin’s close friends are rallying against him on FB.

I asked politely to have him delete his now infamous comment. Then a barrage of crude text messages rattled me while I was at my cousin’s wake.

C

Text 1: Wag mo ko pagbibintangan at magmamaganda bossy ka kapal ng mukha mo

Nox

Text 1: Wow, I was just asking. Sobrang mahal namin yung pinsan kong yun. Sorry to have asked you about it. Sobrang nainis lang talaga ako.

Now, when I called him up. I still haven’t checked FB, hence the hesitation and choice of words. Had I seen his post prior to this exchange of messages, I could have shown him what a Caviteño really is.

C

Text 2: Punyeta ka pasalamat ka Andito parents ng bf ko kundi pngmumura kita taena mo ha

Text 3: Buti nga namatay pinsan mo taena mo!!!!

Text 4: U didnt just ask u were bossying around na siguraduhin kong hindi ako un kapal ng mukha mo!!! Bastos ako sa buhay lalo na sa mga epal shit na kagaya mo pero wag mko pagbbntangan taena mo sa ptay!!!!

That was when I totally lost my cool. But still, I will not stoop down to his level.

NOX

Text 2: Wait. Scratch that. I am not sorry, you horrible person. After all the help I extended to you before dahil kaibigan ka ng kaibigan ko, gaganyanin mo ko?

C

Text 5: Wala akong pakialam i was grateful for that u fucking asshole but that doesnt give u any right to talk to me condescendingly us asshole!!! I was equally nicento you kaya wag mko susumbatan dahil kaya kitang bayaran if u gave a price u asshole!!!

Text 6: Sa susunod na mag boss ka sakin sguraduhin m me karapatan ka dahil d mko palamunin para asta asta ka kung sino sakin putangina mong patay gutom Ka!!!!

Text 7: Bastos ako sa kagaya mo pero wag mko pagbbntnagn na gagawa Ng kagaguhan sa patay!! Nakakainsulto Na pagsalitaan ng isang kagaya mo Lang.

NOX:

Text 3: I don't need your money, sir. Bring it to where ever you go after you die. Sanay kami sa hirap. And have your grammar checked. It's terrible. PS: I regret ever having met you.

C

Text 8: Congratulations if ur good with grammar, hows ur stomach? Hungry??!!!! Hahahahahahah

Text 9: Alam ko sanay ka sa hirap kaya nga nung makapag polo ka akala mo naka armani ka na kahit blue soda lang suot mo!!!!

Text 10 : Mamili Ka Ng yayabangan m Sa susunod dahil di porke nakapagtapos ka ng mgandang school with a shitty course eh angat ka na sa lipunan!!!!

NOX:

Text 4: Thanks for the compliment. Have a good night. May the good Lord bless your soul.

C

Text 11: Sayang text ko sayo patay gutom ka utak biya ka.

I was at the point of crying that time. I swear, I could have gone to Valenzuela on a heartbeat and socked the daylights out of him – even if I didn’t know how to deliver a square punch. Good thing I had my cousins with me. They had put sense in me. Clearly, family is above all friendships we create.

Today, I am so over that person and with what he did. Wag lang syang magpapakita sa ‘kin sa Makati. At lalo na sa Cavite kundi pupulutin sya sa Paliparan. I swear, revenge will be sweet.

B - BASAG ANG PULA

Ba-sag-ang-pu-la
Adjective
May sira sa utak

Nakaka-inis kapag nabasag ang pula ng itlog pagpitik mo ng tinidor. Minsan naman, pagbagsak sa kawali tsaka lumalabas yung yellowish sticky stuff otherwise known as egg yolk. Syempre pa, sunny side up dapat ang drama.

Pero ang malupit kapag bulok ang itlog. Nakakadiri. Iniisip ko pa lang bumabaligtad na tyan ko. Parang isa sa mga kamag-anak ko na basag ang pula.

Ilang araw lang ang nakalipas nang sumambulat ang ginawa nyang kalokohan sa jowa nya. Sa totoo lang, matagal na ang issue na ‘to. Simula pa lang ayoko na sa kabit nyang mukhang bangaw (pero syempre hindi iskabeche ang pagpapakilala nya – boss daw).

Nung una wala akong pakialam sa ginagawa nya. Kung gusto nya sirain ang buhay nya, go lang. Malaki na sya. May b*lbol na, sabi nga ng matatanda. Quite in fact, mas matanda sya sa kin. Pero alam ko sa sarili ko na pag umiyak yan, makikipaghabulan pa rin ako ng taga. Wala yatang makaka-dehado sa lahi namin.

Pero, pero, pero, matanong ko lang kung bakit isa’t kalahating sinungaling sya. Napakarami nyang pinagtagpi-tagping kasinungalingan na nakaka-apekto sa aming buong mag-anak. Nakakasakit din sya ng mga taong walang kaalam-alam.

Kapag maglalakad kayo sa compound namin, madadama mo ang kakaibang feeling. Yung parang nae-ebs ka na pero malayo pa ang banyo. Tapos maraming tao na nakatingin sa’yo kasi alam nila na nae-ebs ka na. Ansama ng pakiramdam.

Hanggang ngayon, hinahangad ko pa rin ang kabutihan nya. Hindi na maibabalik ang dati pero mabubuhay kami ng tahimik – ng wala sya. Sana maging masaya at mapayapa din ang buhay nya.

Iyan lang ang hiling ko, aking pinsan.