ME: Is there something you want to tell me?
I didn’t receive an instant reply I had to wait for 5 hours and had to endure 2 ignored calls before he texted back.
NIX: Let’s talk soon. Now is not a good time for me..
My face went numb for a bit. I didn’t expect him to treat me this way. He has always been sweet and understanding. It’s not in his nature to give me a cold shoulder. I drew up whatever courage that still remains from me and texted back.
ME: Hope to help, pero cge.
Yep, I played the role of the dumb partner. But I knew from my broken heart that I won’t text back again. Or call. Or visit. Or listen to Marry You without feeling a bitter pang in my chest.
I’ve seen this scene before, five months ago to be exact. I was also at the bitter end of a breakup with someone else. Five months after, I know now the roles Nix and I play. I know the lines too well that I’d rather not hear it from him. I’d spare myself from more agony.
I know my forever could wait.
PSI checked his profile page last night. Nagpalit na sya ng relationship status. For the four months we've known each other, parehong single ang status namin. Ngayon, he's "in a relationship" na.
I nearly died habang pasakay ako ng van sa parking ng SM Makati. Bigla ko nakalimutan pano huminga. I grabbed my phone and composed a message.
ME: I guess there's nothing to talk about anymore. I waited for a week for you to have time for me so we can talk. But it's okay. I'm glad you're happy now. You deserve to be happy.
I contemplated if I should send it or not for at least thirty minutes because I know that when he reads it, it will seal the doom of whatever we still have for each other.
But I still did. That's me, Master Masochist.
Photo from here.